Staff Directory


Upper Management

Baron
Project Manager

AKA Darren, Barren

Drives a Ferrari

Collects Action Figures

Princess
Office Manager

Princess is her real name

NOT a Receptionist

Doesn't know the names of the Trolls

Shredded her Office Key Card

Decaf
Lead Programmer

AKA Lead Software Monkey Slave

Literally lives at the office

Workstation is a Bunkbed-Desk

Artie
Art Director

AKA Arthur, ArtBot3000, LawnmowerMan

Works from Home (6 blocks away)

Married w/Twin Daughters

Dan
Lead Producer

AKA Dan The Man

The Owner

Do not speak to him or look him in the eye


♚ Middle Management

Research
Associate Producer
Sharkbite
Associate Producer

Thrill-Seeker

Replay
Associate Producer


♞ Art Team

DeeDee
Art Monkey

AKA Ms.Pac-man

Art School Graduate

First Job (Ever!)

vanGogh
Art Monkey

Thinks he's a better artist than everyone else

Rex
Art Monkey

AKA T-Rex

A vicious predator as old as a fossil

Kit Kat
Art Monkey

Vegan

Fierce Frenemy of Rex

Gass
Art Monkey


♜ Engineering Team

Timberlake
Programmer
RC
Software Engineer
Motor Mouth
Cubicle Slave
Kilgore
Programmer
Woody
Gawker
Quentin
Gawker
Jesse
Gawker
Michael
Gawker
Chris
Gawker
Jonah
Gawker
Steve
Gawker
Bill
Gawker
Mace
Code Monkey

Divorced Army Veteran

Drives a Happy Meal Toy


♝ Game Design Team

Virg
Game Designer

AKA Virgil

Star Trek Redshirt

Coz
Game Designer

AKA Neo

Scoob
Game Designer


♟ Support Team

Eraser & Wedge
I.T. Guys

Not to be trusted

Pizza Guy
Life Support

Vegan is not a Pizza Topping

Intern
Unpaid Intern
Zombie
Game Tester

Minimum Wage Slave

The Mighty Intercom
Unknown


☢ Outlanders

Mom
DeeDee's Mother

Tenured Professor of Women's Studies at a Midwestern University

Magikarp
DeeDee's Pet Fish
The Twins
Daughters of Artie (Art Director)

AKA Thing 1 & Thing 2

Lawyer Lady
Ditcher & Hyde Lawfirm

Specializes in Workplace Discrimination Law

Conducts Workplace Sensitivity Training

10 Responses to Staff Directory

  1. Frank Harr says:

    I love it!

  2. Thorin Schmidt says:

    I didn’t know this existed! Now I do.
    What I don’t know is if my life is better or worse now.

  3. When will DeeDee notice that Game Fortress has no musicians and sound designers on their staff?

    • mvandinter says:

      Hi James! That is a very good question. Are you by any chance a sound designer?

      I’ve worked for studios that did their own in-house sound & music and I’ve worked for studios that farmed that stuff out… and there is good comedy material in both. The same goes for motion-capture.

      Tell you what: When Game Fortress Inc. gets acquired by a mega-corporation, I’ll add a sound team to the staff directory. In the meantime, I’ll come up with with some contractor sound-dev subplots.

  4. barnermark says:

    Traditionally, fictional law firms always have three named partners — “Dewey, Burnham, and Howe” is a Three Stooges classic. Would you consider “Gouger, Ditcher, and Hyde”?

  5. tanstaafl says:

    “Motor Mouth” his title “cubical slave” says he’s a square in 3d, as well as a slave. Should that be “cubicle slave” instead?

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